Misplaced Mercenaries Series by Kevin Pettway

When Keane’s life is threatened by Harden Grayspring, the commander of Keane’s own mercenary company, he and his best friend Sarah decide a good running away is their best bet for a happy, unmurdered life. After all, Harden has an army and all they have are Keane’s quick wit and Sarah’s inexplicable warrior’s strength... moreWhen Keane’s life is threatened by Harden Grayspring, the commander of Keane’s own mercenary company, he and his best friend Sarah decide a good running away is their best bet for a happy, unmurdered life. After all, Harden has an army and all they have are Keane’s quick wit and Sarah’s inexplicable warrior’s strength.The source of Sarah’s unnatural prowess and the reason for Harden’s irrational hatred are mysteries that will have to abide, while Sarah and Keane tiptoe past the armies of two antagonistic nations, navigate the political machinations of a belligerent and wicked king, dodge lethal assassins, and woo a beautiful princess. They have their hands full.But Harden isn’t waiting for them to finish up before he comes calling, ready to destroy everything and everyone in his way. He won’t stop until he is facing Keane with a sword in his hand and blood on the floor, a prospect his quarry is not eager to accommodate. After all, as Keane himself says, “A fair fight is like a book with too many words and not enough stabbings. A good book is fast, exciting, and emphasized with punctuated kidneys from behind.”And all the while, Sarah’s alarming abilities continue to grow … less

A newly minted king and an untrained sorceress seek allies in a world full of backstabbers. Luckily, these ex-mercenaries know a bit about backstabbing.Ex-mercenaries Keane and Sarah struggle to keep their heads above water in the roles of snarky pretender-king and sorceress-in-training for the kingdom of Greenshade—which alone would make it a good day.But good days are clearly for better people... moreA newly minted king and an untrained sorceress seek allies in a world full of backstabbers. Luckily, these ex-mercenaries know a bit about backstabbing.Ex-mercenaries Keane and Sarah struggle to keep their heads above water in the roles of snarky pretender-king and sorceress-in-training for the kingdom of Greenshade—which alone would make it a good day.But good days are clearly for better people.As the nations of the Thirteen Kingdoms line up against them, assassins stalk the castle halls with hidden daggers and deadly salted fish. The only weapons Sarah and Keane can count on are each other and the few friends they’ve made, none of whom are safe.While Keane must triumph over the literal enemies at the gate, Sarah must win the support of foreign leaders to their cause. If either fails, Greenshade collapses to the evil empire of Tyrrane. And everyone and everything they care about, including their own skins, will be utterly destroyed.Will our heroes’ efforts to foil enemy plots and pry allies out of the countryside succeed, or stretch them past the breaking point?Find out now. less

Heavy lies the head that wears the crown. Heavier still if you add the weight of the basket it’s in.Somehow, Keane, the ex-mercenary king of Greenshade, must outwit a wicked usurper from within and an overwhelming army from without. And if that weren’t enough on his royal plate, when Keane flees with his pregnant queen and brainwashed mother-in-law, his own nefarious past rears up to smack him in the face... moreHeavy lies the head that wears the crown. Heavier still if you add the weight of the basket it’s in.Somehow, Keane, the ex-mercenary king of Greenshade, must outwit a wicked usurper from within and an overwhelming army from without. And if that weren’t enough on his royal plate, when Keane flees with his pregnant queen and brainwashed mother-in-law, his own nefarious past rears up to smack him in the face.A thousand miles away, Keane’s best friend Sarah, a swordswoman and sorceress-in-training, treks toward the only possible ally strong enough to help them: the goddess of either beauty, seduction, obsessiveness, or insanity.Depending on who you ask.Meanwhile, the child of a god commands all the powers of hell in order to grow an empire large enough to swallow the mortal world.Can Keane and Sarah pull enough allies from an adversarial countryside to take back a kingdom, defend it from an empire, and defeat the greatest threat the world has ever known?Keane is an accomplished smartass, and Sarah can blow out a candle from across the room.It should be fine. less

After serving with Keane to save Greenshade, the cowardly, illusion-making runecrafter Morholt leads a group of mercenaries on a mission to save the women from his past. His one rule: no killing.But after a terrible accident leaves one of Sarah’s oldest friends dead in the Sedrian jungle, the unstoppable Hill Fury pursues Morholt relentlessly across the Thirteen Kingdoms... moreAfter serving with Keane to save Greenshade, the cowardly, illusion-making runecrafter Morholt leads a group of mercenaries on a mission to save the women from his past. His one rule: no killing.But after a terrible accident leaves one of Sarah’s oldest friends dead in the Sedrian jungle, the unstoppable Hill Fury pursues Morholt relentlessly across the Thirteen Kingdoms.Because the renewed Temple of the Sky is trying to murder all those with the sacrilegious runecrafting ability, Sarah requests their help. But soon Sarah must decide who her true enemies are: Morholt and his runecrafters—or the Temple of the Sky itself.Meanwhile, Tyrrane and its evil god want to kill everyone. But a royal plot is underway to overthrow their god, with true villains pitted against cosmically scaled assholes, and world-shaking consequences no matter what happens.Will the forces of good and sorta-good come together before the forces of definitely not-good crush them, ruin their lands, and take all of their ex-girlfriends?Not if history is any indication. less

The fear of Tyrrane and their Anger Under the Mountain has gone on long enough, and King Keane of Greenshade has finally decided to end it—personally. Until he talks with his wife the queen, whereupon he decides to send warrior/sorceress Sarah to end it for him.On the advice of a troll Seer and a dead god, Sarah plunges ahead into adventure and war, even though the last time she faced the dark queen of Tyrrane she was forced to run, broken and bloody... moreThe fear of Tyrrane and their Anger Under the Mountain has gone on long enough, and King Keane of Greenshade has finally decided to end it—personally. Until he talks with his wife the queen, whereupon he decides to send warrior/sorceress Sarah to end it for him.On the advice of a troll Seer and a dead god, Sarah plunges ahead into adventure and war, even though the last time she faced the dark queen of Tyrrane she was forced to run, broken and bloody.This time things will be different, and while this proves to be true, the results are not what Sarah or Keane wanted. Full scale war embroils every corner of the map, the crown cannot keep their own out of danger, and the Anger is whispering in everyone’s ears.The world was so much easier when Keane and Sarah were just mercenaries. less