Integrated (Mistress & Master of Restraint #11)

Warning: Erica Chilson is revising/rewriting/restructuring/editing/formatting the Mistress & Master of Restraint Series in its entirety for release into Print. A few titles will receive updated covers, as well as a more descriptive synopsis. The FINAL editions will vary from those currently in release.
If you are a new reader, and not one who enjoys rereading, then I suggest you ‘wishlist’ or ‘TBR’ the following book & subscribe to Erica Chilson’s website: ericachilson.wordpress.com

However, if you would like to read this title in its current form, and then experience its final edition, or if you have previously purchased this title, an ebook update will become available. You will NOT have to repurchase another ebook copy. Instruction on how to update, and whether or not you need to update to the most current edition, can be found on Erica Chilson’s website under the tab ‘Updated Editions’.

Erica Chilson apologizes for the inconvenience, and hopes that the readers understand her decision to create and publish a professional book worthy of its story and its readers.

*warning will be removed when the Final editions go live, and a new warning will published. If reading this statement, then the Final Editions are not available as of yet*

I embark on a journey of self-realization, redemption, and forgiving oneself…
I’ve struggled since I was thirteen years old to keep myself even. I lost my innocence when I fractured. The childlike part of me was tainted while the dominant part of me overpowered my mind. I’ve lived in a constant state of tug-of-war.
Some call me Master Ez, Dr. Lunatic, Son, Elder Holden, Dad, or husband. Until I integrated I couldn’t simply be called Ezra.
Everyone struggles throughout life. I would know since I counsel a large majority. Imagine a life filled with financial, familial, and romantic problems, but compound that by fighting one’s own mind. Imagine having two halves dueling for control of your mind as you try to merge them into one, to give yourself peace. Mental illness makes the mundane seem trivial, doesn’t it?
With great wealth comes an ease of freedom of choice but an even larger responsibility. I am responsible for all those around me: their happiness, their safety… their torment and punishment and ruination.
Integrated, I finally recognize all the evil deeds I’ve committed in the name of my alters. I must come to terms with my actions, and for the first time ever, I need to accept the responsibility and the consequences.
I’ve set my path of redemption. I’ve asked for forgiveness, and I cannot demand that my victims pardon me. Out of my control, their thoughts on my character are their own… now, a much more difficult task lies ahead… forgiving oneself.
As if a newborn, raw and exposed, wounded and fragile, I must learn who this integrated person is that I don’t truly recognize. The last time I was whole was twenty years ago. I was a child, and now I am a man.
You must learn to walk before you run… I must ask for forgiveness before I can forgive myself… and hopefully, I can learn who I was meant to be along the way.