To Start a Heart

I was always organized, driven, and responsible. I liked lists and effective time management. Yet, somehow, even with careful planning, I managed to find myself married right out of college with a kid on the way, and that was just the start of my downward spiral.
Tragedy left my life in shambles, and I quickly transitioned from the caretaker to the one who needed to be cared for. My little sister took on that task in stride and managed things more effectively than I would have originally thought.
She even managed to fall in love during my crisis. She was living her best life, while I didn’t feel like I was living much at all.
I was damaged emotionally and physically, trying to find my old self and regain control of my life. My loss of independence took a toll on me. However, my reliance on others introduced me to another tortured soul.
Unfortunately, I pushed him away. Love was risky. It had already left me with a shattered heart and broken bones, and I wasn’t willing to take that kind of chance again.
Letting down the wall I’d erected to protect myself was not worth the risk. My fragile heart couldn’t take another beating, so I fought against love.
But would I really lose if love won?