Mary Sue: A Faithful Adaptation [写实派玛丽苏]

A cute editor and his handsome, domineering boss are transported to a faithfully recreated Mary Sue1 universe by the collective resentment of the Mary Sue authors he had rejected. It is a world where the protagonist poops rainbow pellets, sleeps on beds the size of football fields, and mood-signaling flower petals constantly fall out of his hair like dandruff. In order to return to the real world, the protagonist must team up with his stony-faced boss and act out the ridiculous plot of a Mary Sue novel in a cat-and-mouse chase between the lightning-storm-wielding jealous fiancé and the skittish runaway groom. There is also a cornucopia of ridiculously good-looking male NPCs that the protagonist must seduce in order to escape this world. This is a fast-paced, hilarious Mary Sue parody where acting skills are challenged, secret crushes revealed and kinky fantasies are put on repeat until every detail is fulfilled according to the stringent requirements set out by the AU’s operating system.

-----

The straight-laced protagonist is an editor at a female-oriented online literary platform. Due to his penchant for principles, he has offended many Mary Sue writers who wanted to be signed by the literary platform.

“Sorry, your writing is pretentious and childish, it’s not up to signing standard.”

“Sorry, your plot lacks common sense and logic, it’s not up to signing standard.”

The combined resentment from all the rejected Mary Sue writers transports the protagonist to a world recreated from a Mary Sue novel.

However, that is not the worst part, the worst part is that the outrageous descriptions from the Mary Sue novels have all been faithfully recreated in every detail…

The protagonist has to frantically sprint to the toilet every morning in an enormous mansion the size of ten hectares as if he’s running for his life.

The protagonist is afraid to cry, or even yawn too forcefully because his character design dictates that his tears will turn into diamonds and that he will go blind from them.

When the protagonist is happy, rose petals fall from his head; when he is upset, cherry blossoms fall from his head. Even when the protagonist decides to shave his head, the character design forces his hair to grow back in ten minutes.

The protagonist’s father recharges his MetroCard ten million dollars at a time. When the protagonist asks his father to just buy him a Ferrari instead, his father kindly declines, because the novel isn’t written that way.

The most horrible part is that the protagonist is betrothed to the son of the leader of the largest financial consortium in the Mary Sue world. That retard has mixed bloodlines from 18 different countries. He is one year older than the protagonist and claims that when he was one month old, he fell madly in love with the protagonist who was only a fertilized egg at the time. Every time the protagonist sees his ‘fiancé’ he wants to bludgeon him to death, but he can only lay lovingly in his arms in accordance with the novel’s storyline…