I know it’s dangerous in this day and age, but sometimes the goodness in me turns to pure stupidity and my good sense just takes a vacation and I hit a niche called idiotspontaniosity. Those eruptions in my what might accidentally be called ‘normal’ can last three minutes, three hours, three days, three weeks, three months, and heaven forbid three years. However when the hiatus ends I’m generally in the ohmygodwhathaveIdone universe. Then I have to face the consequences of my actions and continuously ask myself what the hell were you thinking? Then of course since I’m back in the land of reality I say to me, well bitch you weren’t thinking! See here’s the deal of why I just gave you that brief introduction to me I’ll fill you in on that last lapse of good sense I had. It was three years ago, and yes I remember exactly how long ago it was because it was my birthday, June 14th, I went specifically to celebrate – you know the what the hell damn the torpedoes full speed ahead – kind of let’s party. Well who the hell knew that Mother Nature would belly flop into full bitch mode as only she can and throw a Tropical Storm down on my parade. She’s the queen bitch of all bitches you know! So there I am out on the road, yeah I know see that was the beginning of I don’t give a fuck I’ll be a bigger bitch. Yeah right…so I’m driving along at a whopping crawl speed of maybe ten miles an hour. I had to laugh because at least I wasn’t stuck in traffic, no other fools out in this downpour. Oh and I forgot to mention the damn winds – yeah well they hit at about 55mph. So okay back to the main thing here, me and my truck were doing the crawl drive down the road – I was too far from home – I’d gone to mine and my friends, yeah I have a few, favorite bar and grill, The Spot. So what if those few friends of mine have better sense than me and left when the weather report came across the TV that hung at the end of the bar. Sure they tried to get me to leave, but nope not me I was gonna finish my burger and fries first. Of course, I stayed well past the food and chatted with Jimmy the bartender. No I was not hitting on him and no he sure wasn’t hitting on me. His old lady would do us both in in one bang. I finally decided it was time to leave when the lights went out. Little late for that I know, but better late than never. Now I’m driving down Seawall Boulevard, I forgot to mention I live in Galveston Texas. I stopped as a wave hit so hard it pushed water over the road and that’s when I saw him. Now you’re catching on aren’t you? He was walking, yes walking in this storm. I knew right away he had to be a kindred soul of mine, so of course I flashed my lights and hit the horn as I pulled up near him. Unsure of what kind of idiot was driving in this storm he stood there a minute, so heedless of the rain that would come in I hit the button that brought the window down on the passenger side of the truck and he leaned in and I guess maybe he thought I was either a female serial killer looking for her next victim, or just a dumb woman that would stop and pick up a complete stranger. “You gonna just stand out there in this weather, or are gonna get in?” I asked him.
