Oh, Please, Sir! Don’t Make Me Undress Out Here!: A Shy, Young Churchgoer’s Humiliation During a Sinful Public Stripsearch (Sleazy Security, Shivering Shoplifters #5)

22-year-old Joshua Cohen is one goddamn hell of a good Christian. He has recently graduated from one of Alabama’s finest Christian academies, and he is about to become engaged to his girlfriend, Mary Dixon, who is just as pious and God-fearing as he.

As good Christians, they have never “gotten physical” with one another beyond hand-holding and an occasional peck on the cheek. And as for Joshua, he is perfectly happy to wait until after they are married before going further.

Until one afternoon, when he accompanies Mary to a jewelry store in a strip mall so she can buy a gold cross necklace to wear to their next choir practice…

After they exit the store, a middle-aged security guard, Daemon Briggs, comes running out after them, claiming that Mary had been spotted stealing another piece of jewelry!

Well, sweet, innocent, and very devout Mary is just about the last person on Earth who would steal anything. But Briggs has no intention of letting them off the hook that easily.

He looks the nervous young woman in the eye and tells her that the only way she can prove her innocence is to take her clothes off and submit to a full cavity search…right here in the parking lot, claiming that he doesn’t have the time to go looking for a more private area.

Poor Mary. She isn’t only the last person on Earth who would ever steal; she is also the last woman on Earth who would ever take her clothes in front of another man, not to mention all the bystanders who are beginning to congregate around them. She’s never even allowed Joshua to see her in her underwear, let alone naked.

Unfortunately, Briggs explains, refusing to follow orders will only land her at the police station—and not only will she still have to undress, but she’ll also likely wind up with a police record as well! (Or so he says.)

Minutes later, Mary is standing right out in front of the jewelry store, stark naked, shivering, and whimpering pitifully.

But poor Mary? Well, what about poor Joshua? Seeing his bride-to-be without her clothes on is not only offensive to his Christian sensibilities but shockingly arousing as well. He doesn’t want to look, of course, but even all the religious rhetoric he’s absorbed over the years can’t prevent him from drinking in the sight of Mary’s heavenly curves.

Unfortunately, seeing Briggs’s hands and fingers all over her is not only arousing; it is bringing out a measure of jealousy so intense that it is a sin all its own! It’s killing him to watch Briggs having his way with Mary’s splayed body, and for the first time ever, he starts imagining what all her body parts, inside and out, must feel like to the man who will remain forevermore the first to experience them.

It’s a bad situation all around. Mary’s pathetic humiliation, Briggs’s willingness to violate her body like this, the public exposure, and Joshua’s gut-wrenching envy.

The last thing anyone needs is for their priest, Father Tobias, to happen by and watch the skinful action taking place. Now, Mary’s embarrassment is through the roof.

But as she and Joshua are about to learn, embarrassment is the last thing she should be worried about. In the privacy of their church, Father Tobias convinces the couple that Mary’s private parts have been “soiled” by that heathen guard’s disgusting fingers.

Perhaps it would do Mary some good to allow the kindly old man to make her body pure once again.