Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox, May Archer

Colin’s Do’s and Don’ts for a Happy New Year:. 1. Do not develop a crush on your archnemesis, contractor Ryder Richards. 2. Do finish remodeling the heinous mega-mansion with him well before the first snowflakes fall on New Year’s Eve. 3. Do not notice that he's still the hottest man in Licking Thicket. 4. Do not let that gorgeous man provoke you. 5. Do not let his provocation distract you. 6. Do not let your distraction leave you stranded at the house with him during a blizzard. 7... moreColin’s Do’s and Don’ts for a Happy New Year:. 1. Do not develop a crush on your archnemesis, contractor Ryder Richards. 2. Do finish remodeling the heinous mega-mansion with him well before the first snowflakes fall on New Year’s Eve. 3. Do not notice that he's still the hottest man in Licking Thicket. 4. Do not let that gorgeous man provoke you. 5. Do not let his provocation distract you. 6. Do not let your distraction leave you stranded at the house with him during a blizzard. 7. Dear heavens, do not let him crack open the moonshine and light a fire. 8. Do not play drunken truth or dare with him. 9. And for gravy’s sake, do not let yourself fall in love. 10. But if you do… Don't be surprised if this is the happiest year ever. less

Brooks Johnson’s Words To Live By:. When returning to Licking Thicket, TN, for the first time in ten years to reunite with your nosy neighbors, heart-broken ex-girlfriend, and matchmaking mama who never quite believed you were gay, it’s best to bring a fake boyfriend as backup. .. Just don’t be surprised when your ex-girlfriend does the same... moreBrooks Johnson’s Words To Live By:. When returning to Licking Thicket, TN, for the first time in ten years to reunite with your nosy neighbors, heart-broken ex-girlfriend, and matchmaking mama who never quite believed you were gay, it’s best to bring a fake boyfriend as backup. .. Just don’t be surprised when your ex-girlfriend does the same. And when her incredibly hot fake boyfriend becomes the one island of calm in a sea of bovine-based insanity, it’s best to exercise caution… especially when he pushes you up against the rough barn wall to check you very thoroughly for splinters. .. Just don’t be surprised if you fall head-over-hooves in love with him. less

Parrish Partridge’s True Facts:. There’s nothing hotter than a tall, gruff, bewildered, tattooed mountain of a man cuddling a sweet, orphaned baby, so you can tell yourself that you’ll resist him. .. But that’s a lie. And when that man asks you to do him a favor and pretend to be his very temporary, very fake fiance to help him get custody of that adorable baby, you can pretend you know better than to say yes…. But that’s a lie, too... moreParrish Partridge’s True Facts:. There’s nothing hotter than a tall, gruff, bewildered, tattooed mountain of a man cuddling a sweet, orphaned baby, so you can tell yourself that you’ll resist him. .. But that’s a lie. And when that man asks you to do him a favor and pretend to be his very temporary, very fake fiance to help him get custody of that adorable baby, you can pretend you know better than to say yes…. But that’s a lie, too. And when you actually get to know your kind, strong, pullet-loving prince of a fiance, and all his crazy, lovable, meddling neighbors, you can tell yourself you’re not really falling for Diesel Church and the town of Licking Thicket…. But that might be the biggest lie of all. less

Tucker Wright’s Clues for Life:. What’s a 4-letter word for an utterly oblivious, totally commitment-phobic, heartbreakingly gorgeous man with a pet pig named Bernadette? That’d be D-U-N-N, as in Dunn Johnson, my very best pal and fishing buddy since I moved to Licking Thicket. What’s a 6-letter word for a nerdy, crossword-loving town doctor who’s doomed to be hopelessly, thoroughly, irrevocably, in love with that straight best friend for the rest of his born days? That’s T-U-C-K-E-R, as in me... moreTucker Wright’s Clues for Life:. What’s a 4-letter word for an utterly oblivious, totally commitment-phobic, heartbreakingly gorgeous man with a pet pig named Bernadette? That’d be D-U-N-N, as in Dunn Johnson, my very best pal and fishing buddy since I moved to Licking Thicket. What’s a 6-letter word for a nerdy, crossword-loving town doctor who’s doomed to be hopelessly, thoroughly, irrevocably, in love with that straight best friend for the rest of his born days? That’s T-U-C-K-E-R, as in me. But when I agree to let Dunn be my 24/7 dating coach, and he decides to get our whole nosy town in on the act, there’s only one 5-letter word to describe the pair of us. F-O-O-L-S. less

Hunter Jackson’s Sage Advice for a Happy ThanksgivingWhen your turkey-thieving, town-abandoning, former childhood friend reappears in Licking Thicket after fifteen long years, looking like a snack and smelling like all your favorite treats put together, it might be tempting to, well, dig in. Don’t... moreHunter Jackson’s Sage Advice for a Happy ThanksgivingWhen your turkey-thieving, town-abandoning, former childhood friend reappears in Licking Thicket after fifteen long years, looking like a snack and smelling like all your favorite treats put together, it might be tempting to, well, dig in. Don’t. And when your plan to teach the man a lesson goes spectacularly awry, becoming less of a wattle-wearing walk of shame around the Thicket’s Thanksgiving festival and more of a sexy turkey-twerk in a skin-tight bird costume featuring the hottest pair of drumsticks the town’s ever seen, you might think it’s time to get over your feud and, well, take a bite. Resist. But when Charlton Nutter finally shows you the sweet, pure heart he’s hiding under all his fine, big-city feathers, and you realize, thanks to the town’s meddling matchmakers, that the man is hungry for the kind of love and belonging that only the Thicket can provide, you might decide that both of you have been acting like a pair of turkeys, and in that case you should…Gobble. Him. Up. less

Lane’s Tips for Licking Thicket Newcomers. If at all possible, find yourself a hot and helpful landlord like Jaybird Proud who mows the lawn shirtless… and hope your grass grows quickly. Expect the unexpected at work. If you’re a veterinarian, this might mean letter-cows, pet pigs that aren’t pets, and Butterscotch the Pomeranian, who has Strong Feelings about his glands... moreLane’s Tips for Licking Thicket Newcomers. If at all possible, find yourself a hot and helpful landlord like Jaybird Proud who mows the lawn shirtless… and hope your grass grows quickly. Expect the unexpected at work. If you’re a veterinarian, this might mean letter-cows, pet pigs that aren’t pets, and Butterscotch the Pomeranian, who has Strong Feelings about his glands. Offer your help around town when needed… especially when that gorgeous landlord knocks on your door because his (pea)cock won’t stop displaying. Learn about local customs, including: matchmaking, leaving Italian Gentlemen on the doormat, ordering tater tots, and entwining dead vines into wreaths as a sign of true love. Get your car washed on the regular… especially when your landlord is the one doing the scrubbing. Above all, keep things casual, even when Jay ends up at your place every night. And every morning. And the occasional afternoon. But when you find yourself falling for someone like Jaybird Proud (and life in his weird and wonderful town), let go of everything you thought you wanted… and Entwine that Thicketeer forever. less