The Library of the Profane Series by J.B. Trepagnier

The Library of the Profane has everything your black heart desires. But we don’t just allow anyone to get a library card. Need to summon a demon? Raise the dead? A clan of vampires bothering you? Do you like the really nasty werewolf erotica? The Library of the Profane has all of that, but not everyone can handle the contents (Some people can’t handle their werewolf erotica). I’ve been a librarian here for five years and when I say I killed to get this job, I’m not being facetious... moreThe Library of the Profane has everything your black heart desires. But we don’t just allow anyone to get a library card. Need to summon a demon? Raise the dead? A clan of vampires bothering you? Do you like the really nasty werewolf erotica? The Library of the Profane has all of that, but not everyone can handle the contents (Some people can’t handle their werewolf erotica). I’ve been a librarian here for five years and when I say I killed to get this job, I’m not being facetious. You can’t check out our books. Some of the books are sentient and don’t like it. We have rooms to perform the spells in or hell, we do have a copy machine (copies are extra). When a witch came in and said they needed to do a little necromancy, I didn’t question it. They wouldn’t have been given a library card if they were going to raise someone really bad. I helped with the necromancy because it’s just my job as a librarian. Except it wasn’t a normal resurrection. It was the physical embodiment of Chaos and when he woke up, he saw me first and now he’s attached. Chaos personified is a horrible library guest and he won’t leave with the witch who raised him. He’s constantly getting into things he’s not supposed to and he’s really into the werewolf erotica. It’s not like I can let him out because the Library of the Profane is meant to contain Chaos. The rest of the world isn’t. He’s awful about keeping his identity secret too. A warlock, a Hellhound, and a vampire know he’s here and they are bugging me to let Chaos have a little fun. I just want a normal day of summoning demons, cursing people, and telling people to be quiet in my library. This is too much. less

I hate losing and I appear to be on some streak. Dorian Gray’s painting was never in the vault of the library. We currently have no idea where it is and the only person who can track it is probably being held hostage in a storage yard with all kinds of cursed objects. Balthazar’s dick is still cursed and there’s no easy way to remove it. I already made it worse once. I hope it doesn’t fall off this time... moreI hate losing and I appear to be on some streak. Dorian Gray’s painting was never in the vault of the library. We currently have no idea where it is and the only person who can track it is probably being held hostage in a storage yard with all kinds of cursed objects. Balthazar’s dick is still cursed and there’s no easy way to remove it. I already made it worse once. I hope it doesn’t fall off this time. I was totally against marrying Reyson when he woke up and announced I would be his new wife, but my resolve on that is starting to weaken. I’m starting to care for the damned god. The only people who know where Dorian’s painting is at are Dorian and Bram’s demon master. Even if we find Dorian, we can’t kill him without his painting. I know better than anyone that when a witch really doesn’t want you getting into their things, the results are usually fatal. I get we need the demon overlord, but if we are all risking our lives to get him out of that trap, he’d better grant Bram his freedom because I like having that Hellhound around. I’m starting to care for all these people that have crashed into my life and library, but I miss the normal days here of helping with curses, spells, and territory disputes. I’d like to disappear into our erotica section for a little while and pretend Dorian Gray isn’t building a supernatural army. less

Well, that certainly sucks! We freed Talvath, then we lost Talvath. And the bastard took Bram with him. For all we know, he’s back in Hell building an army to destroy my library. According to Balthazar, Silvaria and Dorian are on their way back to the US now that he’s liberated a large sum of money from their bank accounts. Kaine and the Paranormal Investigation Bureau will be waiting for them. I know Silvaria though. She thinks she has a god under her control... moreWell, that certainly sucks! We freed Talvath, then we lost Talvath. And the bastard took Bram with him. For all we know, he’s back in Hell building an army to destroy my library. According to Balthazar, Silvaria and Dorian are on their way back to the US now that he’s liberated a large sum of money from their bank accounts. Kaine and the Paranormal Investigation Bureau will be waiting for them. I know Silvaria though. She thinks she has a god under her control. She’s going to want Reyson at the bank with her. I swear to Lilith, if she breaks my library, I’m going to kill her twice. I’m going to let Reyson and Balthazar get creative, then if Bram ever comes back, I’ll unleash him on what’s left over. No one messes with my library. less